my cat mazy has been living with us for like 4 years now and my family still hasn’t figured out how to interact with her without getting bitch slapped
i am the world’s best dragon slayer. you ever seen a dragon round here? no? you’re welcome.
take me to the museum. don’t touch me in or around the museum. i’m looking at the art. why are you so horny, it’s like noon and we’re surrounded by kids.
A friend and I once ran into Jonathan Hyde (Van Pelt) in a pub after seeing him in a production of “King Lear”. My friend said, “Your character in Jumanji gave me nightmares when I was 7.”
Hyde looked him straight in the eye, stepped really close so they were basically nose-to-nose, and said: “Good.”
Then he walked away. What a dude.